A visitor

Yesterday I was in my living room, folding clothes and both the boys were asleep when I saw a shadow pass by the window. And then there was a knock on the door. On the other side was an old friend that I was very glad to see. I greeted said friend (whom I will refer to as "jessie") with a smile and hug and gestured entrance to my home.

My friend has made some decisions in life that have taken a toll on Jessie's appearance and personal hygeine, and while Jessie is not homeless, the living conditions Jessie comes from are poor. In fact so poor that I wonder what kinds of infestation of vermin and insects take lodging there along with Jessie and Jessie's significant other. Actually, I know for a fact (because we talked about it) that there is at least one kind of parasite living with Jessie, evidenced by the bug bites all over Jessie.

We talked for a while, small talk and the like, avoiding the very obvious topics that I did not want to bring up because I didn't want Jessie to think that I was being judgmental or condescending. We sat in silence for a long time, and distracted ourselves from the elephant in the room with chatter about the boys and playing with Jude.

The whole time Jessie was there, I couldn't even focus on what Jessie's needs were. Instead I was consumed by the thought of the parasite that might have just been flippantly carried into my home where my children were. I just kept thinking how I was going to clean and sanatize everywhere Jessie had sat, or touched and how I needed to keep Jessie in an isolated area so that the "contamination" could be minimized. I was also thinking that Jessie stank and was probably making my couch stink too. Never once did I think how Jessie might be feeling about it, and what I might be able to do to help the situation. No. My concern was more for myself than Jessie. All I wanted was for Jessie to leave so that I could decontaminate. I didn't even ask Jessie if she needed anything or if I could get her something.

I am so ashamed of my behavior yesterday. I cannot beleive that, when presented with a situation like that, I fail so miserably to live up to the example Christ has given us. I wasn't even close!

God forgive me.